[don't stand] TUCK [so close to me]

[Lou McGooken]

<sub>Every inch of the Huffler's body burned with the hollow ghost of pain. Her limbs shook, and it was difficult to see through the mask of tears that hovered over those creamy caramel eyes of hers. That reddish mane was snarly and knott-filled, matted from the encounter she'd had with a group of Slytherins earlier that evening.

The girl wandered blindly around in the corridors. It was rather late, and though it wasn't against the rules for students to be out around this time of night, people rarely ventured outside the toasty circle of their Common Room fireplace's influence. She didn't know where she was going, but of one thing she was sure. And that was that she didn't want to go back to the Common Room like this.

Eventually, she plopped herself on the third step of a nearby staircase, using her shaking hand to help her down. She pulled her knees up to her stomach and used her hands to wipe the tears from her eyes and rake her hands through her hair, unknotting it and pulling it back into a loose, artistic bun at the back of her head. She then sat, attempting to calm her frayed nerves and trying desperately to forget the events of the night.

But Unforgivables were hard things to forget.</sub>

[Tucker Pierce]

Smiling widely at the by-passers, he thought about Lou. 'Finally,' he thought to himself adoringly. 'She's finally mine. If only she believed how much I love her. How much I'm IN love with her...' He thought, but his thoughts were suddenly drowned out as he looked up the stair cases seeing a familiar strand of reddish, auburn hair fly out of sight. "Lou..." He said in a hushed voice.

Quickly, Tucker ran up the stairs, trying to find Lou, and catch up to her, which after all wasn't hard. He found her in the nick of time, happy with himself. But, just as soon as his greeting smile flashed across his face, it disappeared. He looked at her with wide, curious eyes. He walked over to her, sliding down next to her, to drape his arm comfortingly on her shoulder. "Lou? What... What's wrong, love?" He asked his eye brows furrowing. He caught one of her tiny tears with his finger, in a loving manner.

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[Lou McGooken]

<sub>Her body ached as soon as he sat down. He was the reason they did this to her. This was all his bloody fault.

But Lou forced herself not to think of that. Instead, she thought of what they'd told her to do. To stay away from the boy she'd spent practically all her time with in the past few weeks. And if she didn't, they'd told her, there'd be a lot more pain in it for her. Either way, they couple would be split apart. It'd be better if she simply let him off easy. And saved herself the trouble of putting her body through such an excruciating experience again.

"Stay away from me," she muttered, her voice hoarse from screaming in pain and raw from all the tears she'd cried. She shrugged his arm gently away from her shoulder and heaved herself up from the stair, shuffling away from him and down the next staircase, praying to God he'd just leave it at that and stay the hell away from her.</sub>

[Tucker Pierce]

His expression turned from curiousity, to a 'WTF?!?![s' look. His eyes were filled with pain as he watched her walk away from him. 'Oh, hell no. Not when I just now got her...' He jumped up after her without hesitation. He grabbed her arm pulling her back towards him as gently as he could. His dark eyes searched within her lighter shaded ones, with uncomprehension. He looked at her, his eyes searching for his answer, although he didn't recieve one until he looked at her neck. There were a couple finger prints there, as if someone had tried to stragle her. His hand flew up to her neck, not quite touching it, but hovering over the devestating, and heartbreaking marks.

His eyes grew soft, and enduring, but also part of his eyes were pissed off, and ready for revenge. "Who the HELL did this to you?" He spoke between clenched teeth, his jaw line exploading with muscles that he never knew existed. Anyone would be able to tell that he was extremely pissed off right now, even if they didn't personally know him. His hand flew to his head, as it began to ache with all the stress he had been through in the past couple weeks. "Please... Lou, tell me what happened, and who was involved in it. I need to know. I have to know." His voice was shaky, as he yearned to comfort her, which was exactly what he was desperately trying to do at that particular moment in time.

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[Lou McGooken]

<sub>She shivered uncontrollably when his fingertips brushed her neck. The Huffle had trouble not falling into his arms and simply weeping in exhaustion and hugging him until she simply couldn't stay awake any longer. But she knew she wouldn't. In fact, she couldn't. Her body wouldn't let her do such a fatal action that would condemn her to more pain and suffering. Such a thing was simply a reflex.

The girl was reluctant to answer at first to his question. "Who else? All those bloody friends of yours who think I'm not good enough for you." A sob caught in her throat and fresh tears donned the salty crinkles of her eyes. "And maybe I'm not. Have you ever thought that maybe we're not supposed to be together? What's meant to be shouldn't hurt this much." She looked at him through pleading eyes. She had to make him understand. Did he have any idea who much this hurt her? In fact, this hurt more than all the physical pain she'd been through earlier that evening. But still. She had to let him go. They could kill her next time.</sub>

[Tucker Pierce]

Tucker felt shame wash over him like a heavy sheet blindfolding him entirely. "No... not Corliss... please tell me it wasn't Corliss." He looked at her, shaking his head numbly. "It couldn't have been her... there's no way. She wouldn't... she couldn't. Tell me who, specifically, was involved in this..." He motioned to her neck feeling his own hurt for her physical pain. He pulled her into his arms, as carefully as possible, hoping that he didn't press against any bruises, or what not. He tilted his head over hers, trying hard not to punch the wall at that very second.

Lou's next words cut at his heart, and he looked at her as if wondering how she could say such a thing. "Lou... no! We are suppose to be together, can't you feel that? I know that it shouldn't hurt this much, but maybe it's all just apart of the ride. If you show them that you're forfeighting then they're just gonna keep hurting you. If you stay by my side they will eventually back off." His heart ripped in two, but he continued earnestly. "They wont do this to you ever again. Not as long as I'm alive. You have to believe me... I... I didn't even think about the consecuinces for us being together truthfully... I'm so sorry." He murmmered.

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[Lou McGooken]

<sub>She tried her hardest to push back sobs again, and squirmed to get out of his arms. She couldn't do this again. Getting a taste of what she was missing was only gonna make it harder for her to say good-bye to him. But she had to do this. The Death Eaters could kill them both, and it was better for the safety of them both if they simply dropped the matter.

After all, the DE had power than not even Tucker could imagine. They commanded a presence in the school that was difficult to miss. There'd been so much death lately at the school. That Slytherin boy, Bishop, and then the Potter boy later in the year. Lou had a feeling that both were constituted by the DE, and she didn't want her or Tucker's names to be added to the growing list.

She pulled away, her voice racked with a sobs as she grew the closest to angry that she ever got. "No, Tuck, this isn't just a part of the ride. Do you have any idea what it's like to be put under Unforgivables until you can't even think straight? I'm powerless against them. They're fueled by hatred and cruelty, two things the world's in an abundant supply of at the moment. Love can't even measure up to the power of those two. It's fragile, Tuck. It breaks."

As she heard him say something about the Death Eaters backing off, she reached up to wipe an army of tears off her face with one swift moment, her arm aching from the bruise she'd recieved earlier that evening. "I can't wait for 'eventually'. Going through this again isn't worth that. They have power, Tuck. They could kill me next time, and I'd rather be alive and heartbroken, than dead. So can you please, just..."

She trailed off, her eyes begging. But at the same time, she wished he would keep pleading with her to stay with him. She wanted a way out of the hell that this whole night had become, and just to be with him would be enough. Just for tonight.</sub>

[Tucker Pierce]

Tucker's eyes pleaded with her, feeling her squirm underneath him. He released her gently, her words still tugging out him, and making him hurt deeper and deeper each time he heard her voice break with the pain she was going through. Both emotional, and physical. He watched tears rumble down her face, wishing with all of his heart he could stop her from crying. It just hurt him too much to see Lou crying. She was always happy... well most of the time.

Tucker stood there looking at her deeply into the eyes as he spoke again, his voice seeming distant. "No, I don't know what that's like Lou, but trust me there's worse stuff out there. Like getting your heartbroken. Emotional pain is so much worse than physical pain." He shook his head, but continued slowly, "Love can measure to the power they have, and you know it. If you let it, it can. Please, Lou stay with me! You're the only thing I have left to live for... please."

Voice breaking, he continued gently, "Going through that isn't worth fighting for love? Are you serious? If I could I would go through that a million times, to fight for our love." He grunted, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly as he spoke the next sentence. "And no I can't just... back off. It's not possible for me Lou. I need you, more than anything, and I know that you need me too. I WANT YOU FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" He hollered, trying his best to keep his voice down, which didn't work at all.

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[Lou McGooken]

<sub>She shook her head, trying to make him understand, while at the same time, wanting to forget about everything and just let him be in control. It'd always been that way. He was the stronger one. So, naturally, he was in control. He could reason with her, because he was definitely smarter. There was only one thing that she had that he didn't. And that was the absence of hatred. Or, in other words, unconditional love for everyone she met. But such a thing was hardly relevant to life.

Her eyes locked on his. "I thought I was going to die, Tuck." The Huffle's voice was quiet, and her mouth looked strange without the smile that normally ordained it. "Until you know that feeling, you don't know what terrified is."

She wanted him to feel somehow what she felt. The terror and fright that took hold of her whenever she saw his friends. Whenever those gorgeous Slytherin girls turned to corner and walked towards her, smirks on faces and wands twirling viciously in hands. Lou didn't want to be scared of them, but she was a coward. And cowardly hearts don't have much left to do but be scared of people. That's simply what they did.

Then she asked him the question that she wondered how he would answer. "Is it worth it if they kill me?"</sub>

[Tucker Pierce]

Jaw clenched, Tucker answered her first question, feeling stressed out. How could she ask him that after she knew about his past? Of course he knew what it felt like to feel like you were going to die! So instead of keeping his thoughts inside, he voiced them, hesitantly, "I know what that feels like Lou. From my own damn father! He threatened me every single day he had the chance. Always beating me up when I was a... weak kid. Nearly choking me to death like they almost did you. I know what it feels like." His words were muffled, strained, and he could almost feel the hurt that he had surpressed into the words. He placed a rough hand over his face, trying to cover his anxiety.

Finally, Tucker looked back at Lou shaking his head. The next few words that he spoke were the truth, and nothing but the truth. He knew it deep down inside of him. "They wont kill you." His eyes locked with hers trustingly, placing his hand underneath her chin, and pulling her head up slightly. "I wont let them kill my forever and always. I just wont." His voice was quiet, and slow, begging for her to believe him. He bent down slightly, his lips meeting hers tensely. He kissed her for a long time, feeling his heart thump automatically faster, and faster.

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[Lou McGooken]

<sub>When she heard the reference to his dad, Lou had to use all her self-control not to lean forward and pull him into her arms. Tell him she'd do everything she could to make things better. But she couldn't. His life was on the line just as much as hers was. Sure, she didn't care as much about her own life, but at the same time she was a coward. She didn't want to die. In fact, she would do most anything to escape it. But this was one of the hardest things she'd ever done.

She sighed. "Then you know that I can't go through that again," she told him, her eyes pleading with him, "I'm not as strong as you, Tuck. I never will be. People can break me just as easily as snapping their fingers. They're scared of you. And fear is power."

His voice telling her that he wouldn't let them kill her was far away and distant. She had to figure out a way to let him off gently. His safety was on the line, just as much as hers was. Perhaps he'd understand if she put it in the bluntest way she possibly could.

"Look, Tuck," she began, looking down at her hands and then back up at him, a sort of fire in her eyes that normally didn't pervade the sweet exterior. "You can't possibly understand what it's like. Muggle-borns don't mean shit to the Death Eaters. In fact, they would consider it an improvement to the world if I was dead. So, they won't feel any remorse for killing me. But you. They can't kill you. Because you're pureblooded and a Death Eater. You're safe. I, however, am the farthest from that anyone can possibly be. And as long as I stay with you, there's no way in hell I'm gonna survive the year."</sub>

[Tucker Pierce]

Shaking his head hard, he looked at Lou his eyes mimicking her eyes 'expression'. They were pleading, like hers, except the exact opposite about what he was pleading for. She was pleading for him to let go of her, and he was pleading for her to stay with him. He turned away from her swiftly walking over to the nearest wall, and punching it with all of his might. He felt the crack of the wall, and the crack of his fist.

There was now a rather large hole in the wall, where Tucker was standing. Finally, he turned around, trying not to curse at his hand, which was now bleeding on different parts of the knuckle. He gritted his teeth together as he walked back over to Lou, his face serene now. "Sorry, I needed to do that. I feel better now." He spoke quietly, but then continued back to other conversation.

"No, Lou. You look. People are scared of me because of what they see. Not because of who I actually am. You know the real me! And I know that you can't go through that again. That's why you're not going to go through it again. That's what I'm trying to tell you! They wont lay another finger on you, I swear to God." He muttered, his hand beginning to rest on her cheek. "Are you scared of me?"

Tucker's questioned seemed to echo through his ears, as he leaned down towards her pecking her softly on the lips. He pulled away just as quickly, speaking once more. "Muggle borns don't mean shit to death eaters? You do realize that you're talking to a Death Eater correct? 'Cause I'm pretty damn sure that you mean EVERYTHING to me. There's no doubt in my mind, Lou. I love you. I'm in love with you. I think I've said that enough now, don't you?"

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[Lou McGooken]

<sub>Jesus, what could she say to make him understand?

"You don't get it, do you? You can't stop them. They're gonna do whatever they want. They always get what they want, and now's not really any different. You might be strong, but they're more powerful than you. After all, there's strength in numbers and, last time I checked, the Death Eaters were multiplying like bacteria. We can't fight them all, Tuck."

She paused for a moment at his next question, wondering why in hell he would ask something like that. Of course, he would be surprised by her answer. And in telling him, she would be giving him more power over her than he'd previously had.

"Of course, Tuck. I'm TERRIFIED of you! You don't have any idea how easy it would be for you to hurt me. I'm scared that the moment I let my guard down and let myself love you, you'll turn on me." Lou's caramel brown eyes glanced up into his, worried that he'd think of her differently from what she'd just told him. Or maybe he'd take advantage of her and simply strive to control her. He didn't have any idea how easy that would be. She had abandonment issues and was rather paranoid about letting her guard down. Two things that didn't add up to a very strong persona.

The Huffle sighed. "You know you're not like the rest of them. At least, not to me. You treat me like a human, Tuck. They act as though I'm an animal."</sub>

[Tucker Pierce]

Tucker felt his eyes grow soft, as his eyebrows furrowed. He was ready to end this. He didn't care what other people would think. He loved Lou. With all of his heart, and he was going to tell her exactly what he was feeling. "Look. I don't care what people think. I'm not trying to destroy my fellow DE members. I'm just not going to let them hurt you." He paused for a few seconds taking in a deep breath of cold air, his body shivering with the sudden intake of it.

"I know you want me to understand, but I just can't! I'm in too deep. I can't get you out of my head Lou. I don't want to live my life without you by my side. I can't live like that." He rolled his head back, popping it quickly. His heartbeat echoed in his mind very prominent in his thoughts. He tried to push it out of his mind, but it didn't work. Finally, he began to speak again, with a sudden eagerness packed in it.

"I'd rather die being with you, than die being without you, Lou. You have to understand that. You're the only thing keeping me sane here. The only thing that is piecing my heart back together. You're the only one that reminds me of Claire." His voice broke at the very end and he covered his face immediately not wanting to show the real truth hiding in his eyes. He was broken. Into a million little pieces. His whole world crashing around him in just a matter of seconds.

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[Lou McGooken]

<sub>She knew it was killing him that he couldn't control anything that was going on in those few moments. He was used to being in control. All the Death Eaters were. That's simply how pureblooded children were raised to live. It killed him that he couldn't protect her from the rest of his kind. But, most of all, she could see that it killed him to see her letting him go.

And hell, she didn't want to. She'd grown to love the boy over the past few weeks and the pysical pain she was in from her beating up was nothing compared to what she felt from keeping herself from hugging him this whole time. Finally, though, she summed up what she needed to say.

"Tuck, the only thing you can do to protect me is to stay away from me. I don't care what you say, they can hurt me, no matter what you do," she told him, her caramel eyes locked on his, drinking in these last moments with him. "So if you care about me at all, just please promise me you'll keep your distance." She backed away slowly, a small smile on her face, tears coursing out of her eyes. "I love you, Tucker."

With that, she turned on her heel and began to make her way down the staircase, wincing ever few feet as her broken ribs were jostled.</sub>